Monday, April 23

JIKA tangisan itu berlaku ketika, saatnya terbentang sejadah di atas tanah..

Semakin kite cube perkuatkan iman kite, smakin kuat dugaan yang mendatang.. lantas, iman yang cube dibina atas asas yang kukuh, kembali rapuh sdikit demi sdikit..

"wah, skarang ni dah macam ustaz dah kat fb.. post things yang berunsur agama.. "

senyum...

iman itu tidak dinilai pada apa yang diperkatakan, juga bukan pada apa yang dipertontonkn.. jika seseorang manusia itu tahu berapa nilai iman pada suatu ketika, maka akan tertunduklh sgala nafsu, demi takutnya manusia terhadap Illahi.. dan aku bukan ustaz mahupun ahli agama, untuk membicarakn soal islam, mahupun iman.. tapi cukup pada aku, jika 100 tahun kemudian, aku masih mampu berkongsi rezeki aku bersama mereka yang memerlukan.. walaupun sedikit, akan aku beri..

lantas, ade yang terfikir, 'dah tu, manusia kan mang wat silap, so leklah, memang kekadang iman kite akan roboh.. so btolkan la balik nanti..'

malu aku pada mereka.. bukan kerna aku rase mereka jahil.. tapi aku sendiri yang terasa diriku begitu jahil.. saat sang pencipta memberi aku keimanan, rezeki, hidayah dan petunjuk untuk aku lalui liku2 hidup, saat itu aku lalai.. bnyk perkara jahat yang aku lakukan, walaupun kdgkala aku menangis sendirian, ketika saat sejadah dibentang di atas tanah..

hari demi hari, aku cuba perbaiki apa yang tlah aku lakukan.. trmasuklah cuba memelihara maruah keluarga, dan juga mereka yang telah ku cemar.. namun, tak semuanya mengikut apa yang dihajati.. masih terdapat mereka yg menyangka, sayang nya aku pada mereka kerna kisah lampau atau aku cuba menutup kejahilan ku sendiri.. ingin aku kata mereka salah.. tapi memang aku x mampu.. hakikatnya, aku mahu memelihara kmbali maruah mereka yang aku cemar..

mungkin memohon maaf sudah memadai.. lebih-lebih lagi, jika mereka memaafkn kita.. namun perkara yang kerap ku tangiskan ketika di atas sejadah, adakah Sang Pencipta mengampunkan kesalahanku? lalu ada di antara mereka berkata, 'Allah Maha Pengampun'.. aku tunduk dan begitu malu.. kerna setiap kali aku memohon keampunan, imanku akan kembali tercalar di masa hadapan..

hidup aku kini kosong.. ternyata senyuman yang kadangkala terlempar di luar, x sama dengan keperitan di dalam.. aku cuma mampu mengharap hidayah dari Allah, agar diberikan aku kekuatan dan keimanan.. walaupun lebih 100 tahun aku menangis, aku tidak kisah.. JIKA tangisan itu berlaku ketika, saatnya terbentang sejadah di atas tanah..

Semoga Allah memberikan aku kekuatan, untuk aku berada bersama di sisi mereka yang tersayang.. dan semoga orang2 sekeliling ku, menghargai dan menyayangi aku, sebelum aku pergi menghadap Allah yang satu.. andai ada kesilapan aku, maaf atas segalanya.. doa dari kalian yang aku mohon, agar suatu hari nanti, jika aku bertemu sang pencipta, aku mampu berdiri di pintu syurga, sambil mengharap redha dari Yang Esa..

patient and perfection of life

Somehow i just afraid of taking those chance.. but i believe i cant hold it back.. if people said "life is a race",i'll say sorry, if i cant stand with it..i juz prefer to deal with life, patiently.. yerp.. maybe i'll miss those chance, but perfection will only born with patient.. is it? :D

so, if today i do say i like u, or maybe i luv you, its a symbolic for me to learn to be patient..(yerp, noted to my own self).. Coz doesnt mean when we spell a word, people will react as we hope for.. BUT! How long will those patient last? That is the hardest thing to answer..in fact, i dont even dare to answering that..

so dear,
that is why i put my fate in Allah.. i can only pray and hope for better..
and i wont regret of taking my chance either..
there is a time when journey tought us something..
and dear, my journey has lead me to learn something about u..

dear,
i'm sorry for every false i've made.. might b mine not suit u..
but dear, there is still a room for perfection..
it just u have to deal it with patient..
coz remember, perfection is symbolic of patient..
and for that i'll patiently wait for a moment of u,
accepting me in ur own life.. d^_^b

there will be a time, when i thot u would not be mine,
but beneath those time, there is still a portion of belief,
of those patient and perfection of life..

Tuesday, April 17

kosong-kosong :D

Segala kata cacian
yang telah engkau berikan
membuatku rasa kosong kosong
Setiap tutur diperhatikan
kau cari cara putar belitkan
kau jadikan diriku kosong kosong

Kini aku bangkit
membuktikan yang ku tak sakit
dengan segala perit yang kau berikan
Kini ku pantas berjalan
bergerak kehadapan
dan akan ku buktikan
siapa diriku yang sebenar.


I was listening to this lyric when i start writing this entry. Congrats to Najwa Latif for creating such a wonderful and meaningful song. Yeah after all media hype she has faced.

Anyway, today entry will be based on those lyric (some part of it, MAYBE :D ).

Alhamdulillah as to-day, i already achieved one of my lifetime goal. own a house. Thanks to Allah for all the blessing and guidance. Finally i already bought my own 3 room condominium (yerp 90% of those money is loaned from bank! thanks Mr and Mrs Bankers.. :D )


InsyaAllah, my next goal is to have my OWN car (not the one being bought by our parents k ;) ). i'm still working for it.. As early as end of this year or might be next year.. and MAY be, i'll ready to getting married 6 month after that.. (mood gatal nampaknye ;p ) But that will be my plan. Achieve or Not? = Let Allah Decide. My job is to work harder, and seek blessing from Allah for every step that i made.

END :)
------------------------------------------------

Dear my lovely wife,
As i write it today, you might read it in future.
And listen dear, today i learned a lesson.
A lesson that teach me, that i must love every inch of person who loved me.
Because it was you, my destiny,
who given by Allah, to be with me in hard or good time.

I already lend my ribs,
and today i bought for you and our kids a place to stay,
and i'll continue working now to own a safety ride,
to cater our family in days and night.

Dear,
As today i learned,
People will only judge you by how you look,
and they often miss a moment,
to look at person who cared about them a lot.
And things become worse,
when you know, you only act as a place,
to shared their sadness, but not happiness.

Dear,
that is why i'm writing this for you.
I hope you realize how grateful i'm to meet someone like you.
Before it was too late,
I thank you for every trust you have give.
And more importantly, thanks for being with me,
from the moment we met,
from the moment i raised from nobody to becoming somebody to you,
from the moment those ijab and qabul is voice out,
and,
from the moment i made a promise with Allah to take care of you.

Dear, please..
remind me if i tend to forget what has been written here.
I just human that tend to make a mistake.

Dear,
in Allah i trust, for every destiny and path that i should take.
Help me to be a better khalifah,
so i can help to bring my parents, ur parents, urself and our kids,
to Jannah that has been promised by Allah SWT..

END, AGAIN ;)
------------------------------------------------

Thursday, April 12

thanks aunt and uncle

i went to met my aunt yesterday. its been a while i did not met her. and since i just arrived from umrah, my family decide to went there.

We had a chat and laugh. well we all enjoyed our time there. Suddenly, my aunt come to me and ask me 1 big question that act interest me at that moment.

Aunt : "GF cemana? sehat? bila nak tunjuk enggal (name dat being used to call my aunt)"
Me : "xda lagi la enggal.. so cemana nak tunjuk.. hehe"
Aunt : "aish, susah sangat ke nak cari? lame benor x jumpe2.. last yang kami sume jumpe time open house rumah kamu la kan?"
Me : juz senyum.. :)
Aunt : "kenapa x cari lagi?"
Me :"erm, ntahla, mungkin x jumpe lagi kot.. susah kan nak cari yang betol2 pandang bukan atas apa yang family kite ade"
Aunt : "betol tu, takpe enggal doakan yang terbaik buat kamu k.."
Me : "hehe.. maseh enggal"

why i said dat question interest me a lot. Back then when i'm in mecca, i met uncle hashim and haji (i just call him by that)..

Uncle hashim : berape umur ko skarang?
me : 24
Uncle Hashim : nanti nak kawen ajak la acik k..
me : hehe.. insyaAllah.. kalau ade rezeki.. so far xde sape lagi, so xdpat la nak jemput dulu.. hehe
Uncle Hashim : haish, keje dah elok.. takkan xde lagi kot.
Haji : ala, hashim ade anak perempuan, pakcik pun ade.. so boleh la kot..
me -> seriyes malu!
Uncle Hashim : pandai la ko haji.. anak aku tu baru form 1.. papepun azmi, ni pakcik nak pesan. Remember, the most beautiful women is ur girlfriend and the most ugliest is ur wife. Why i said that, sebelum kahwin, bukan main.. lepas kahwin, itu tak kene, ini tak kene.. sebelum kahwin slim, lepas kahwin slim river.. haha..

He continued

Uncle Hashim : but bila kita sayang bukan sebab cantik, kurus, gemok, haaa.. itu yang buat sayang tu kekal lama.. so ingat pesan pakcik k..
Haji : azmi, kamu x da sapa lagi kan?
me : yerp x da lagi haji.
Haji : percaya la cakap pakcik. masin mulut pakcik, balik ni, dalam masa terdekat sure kamu akan ada someone.
Uncle Hashim : haa.. btol tu..
me : InsyaAllah.. mohon doa..
Haji and Uncle Hashim : Amin..

Hurm, same topic discuss in different situation. But i just glad, they pray for me as well. May Allah bless all of them.. :)

Dear Allah,
if my prayers to met someone will lead me being far from u,
i'll be glad if u not granted too.
Coz at the end of the day,
your blessing that i seek,
love and rahmat that i need,
and those iman that i wish.
I believe in your lead, and i'm very please to thank you for everything..

anyway sorry for my grammar k.. still learn how to write better.. :D