ramadhan

hurm.. its been a long time i didnt update this 'belog'..

where shul i start? what story? hurm..

ramadhan is almost come.. this coming wednesday i think.. my preparation? hurm, may Allah granted me a peaceful heart,mind n soul, so that i can face the ramadhan wit fully barakah from Allah..

i miss my old life so much.. where my life is more dedicated to ask Allah for his forgiveness.. it is not mean, these day i'm not asking and pray to Allah.. in fact, i do, but my effort is lesser than those day.. i wish, i could have the strength, to use this ramadhan as a 'jumping stone' for me to become more closer and closer to Allah..

i admit i has done many sin, that i think its beyond imaginable of my family and friends.. sometimes i gettin confuse wit my self.. part of me say 'dont', but another part always 'yes yes yes'.. so result = 'yes'(coz 3 yes :P).. my iman has been drop day by day..

so i really hope i could have the strength to b use for this ramadhan, to find back my self.. how and wat i use to be..

dear Allah, if u listening to my prayers, i want to ask for forgiveness to all of the sin that i have done, to my family especially my mom and dad, my lecturers, my sgf, my friends and all people around me.. i really hope one day, i could find a path back, so dat i can get the calmness that i looking for when i use to get close with u.. dear Allah, i pray and hope also dat my late brother will be peaceful in his grave, as well as his mother.. protect them from any punishment..may u forgive all of their sins.. i luv them as i luv my family.. and i miss all the kindness they have done to me.. may one day, i could be like them.. hope i can follow all the kindness they have shown to me, so one day, if i die, i know i have done a good things to the people around me..