it is my fault...

sumtimes i didnt understand bout my self..
i dono,
what should i do
what should i be
who should i believe
who should i cared of beside my family

i'm easy to belive sum1,
easy to put my trusted to sum1,
easy to give my heart n soul to them,
i'm too easy...

but did they have the same 'easy' to me?? nah i dono...

now, i'm stopping again at one of my checkpoint in this life..
meeting sum1 dat i tin, they can understand and help me to be better...
but, is dat mean i'm a player?
easy to forget sum1 that i trusted b4?
is dat mean i cannot stick to one person?
is dat mean oso i cannot b loyal to them?
hurm, i'm sure one of the above would be the question for those who reading my blog..

its not dat i didnt trust them..
its not dat i cannot stick to them..
i'm oso not a player.. in fact i'm not dat charming, tough, D-SPeC or watsoever...

yeah, i have put my believe, my soul n my everything to them.. but again, sumtimes me just a dreamer.. those checkpoint have givin me, lot of experience..

i have love sum1, but dat sum1 love sum1 else..
i have love sum1, but dat sum1 leave me with a thousand of question dat i oso cannot answer..
i have love sum1, till i meet their parents, express my feeling, but dat sum1, w/o unexpected be wit sum1 else..
i have love sum1, but dat sum1 doesnt luv me..
i have love sum1, but i'm not sure dat sum1 would have the same feeling bout me..
i have love sum1,
i have........

i do being luv by sum1, but i dun think i have more feeling than just a gud fren..
is dat my fault to leave out the sum1?
i cannot luv sum1 with the sake of i want sum1
i want to luv sum1 that can give me da feeling to luv them..

but...
nah, everything not goes as been expected..
maybe it is my fault..
it is my fault to easily trusted
it is my fault to give everything..
it is my fault..
yes it is...

me sory n thanx 4 everythin... me just hope sumday me would meet the checkpoint that can give me a lot of hepyness.. so me can breath n understand, what is life, much more better...

tatkala kelembutan dan kemanisan imannya..

aku mempunyai 1 hati
yang semestinya memerlukan satu lagi hati,
untuk menemanku..

hati ini mudah disentuh,
tatkala hati ini mudah mempercaya..

hati ini mudah dinoda,
tatkala manusia mempermainkannya..

hati ini juga,
pernah terasa hiba,
tatkala terpaksa menanggung pelbagai masalah,
walaupun hati ini tidak berdosa..

dan..
hati ini juga pernah tersentuh,
tatkala kelembutan dan kemanisan imannya,
menyentuh hati nurani..

mungkin hati ini sangat lemah,
pabila ia mudah dinoda,
mudah terasa hiba,
dan mudah disentuh,
tatkala ia mudah mempercaya..

tapi,
hati ini tidak pernah lemah dari memohon
dan mengharap akan keredhaan dari
Yang Maha Esa..

semoga hati ini, ditemukan dengan hati mereka yang dapat menerimanya dengan ikhlas.. tatkala hati ini, terlalu mudah disentuh pabila kelembutan dan kemanisan imannya, mudah meruntuhkan, keegoan hati ini..

the game plan

hurm.. seems like sum1 wana play a game wit me.. fine.. go on wit everythin.. go on with the game.. pretend u dono anytin n u assume we dono everytin.. go on.. i like to see u playing around.. such a mickey mouse story...

wat?? u terase wit diz post? hahah.. so it is correct la erh?? nvmind... go on with it.. i'm juz a kid dat dono anytin... u such a liar that keep playing wit my feeling... go on... try to fool me?? okeyh.. lets see how far u would go...

what should i write...

huhu,, dono what title should i put.. my intention is juz wana update my blog.. but dono what to write... hurm2... those day i'm quite bz wit everything.. as well as all of my clasmate.. starting from the ending of mid sem break till now, we r quite bz wit everything (quiz+test+assignment+lepaking+mengorat sana sini+gosip2+etc...)huhuhu!! adoi.. bile la nak habis...

yesterday, me n some of my clazmate goin to celebr8 vesshant 22nd bufday.. Cha! u getting older n older.. hahah!! remember, in 3 years more u would be married (as ur mom said to me, 'auntie nak vshan kahwin tyme umur die 25').. jeng3! by the way bro, really hope that angka '22' would bring the best of luck to you (not bring more awek cha!) hehe!

nex week is our final exam.. so u guys out there, pray for us k! in meantime, i juz wana say sorry to all my fren if i have done any sins to u guys, either u guys see or not.. i'm still green to deal with this complicated life.. but thanx 4 u guys for teaching me a lot to be more matured.. huhu!

love?? haa stil find... but i have promise to my self, if i'm not able to find sum1 till i finish my studies, i would not think about this anymore.. 'r u sure???' yes i do... nah,sumtimes i feel too tired with this.. i have giving all the best i can, to keep her as a part of my life.. but as usual, me and only me... then when sum1 ask, 'hei she(anyone) like u la, why u want to find sum1 else? rezeki depan mata maa..' i juz smile... thanx for the news.. hahah!!

'Love is not just about how you feel toward sum1. more important how u shared everything with sum1.. how u cry laugh and fight for ur life together.. so its not when sum1 like u, u must like her.. or when we like sum1, the person must like us.. its not just a sake of title that u r 'owned' or u have sum1 in ur life.. dun ever pretending to be anyone or be sum1 else if u want to catch the luv.. be ur self, accept as the way u r, and find sum1 that suit with u..'